# THE REDGUM HOLLOW GAZETTE ### Serving the District Since Before Your Time **Monday–Thursday Edition | Edition 5 | Price: Whatever You Think Is Fair** *Weather: Still nothing. The sky has the look of a man who owes you money and knows it.* --- ## RAY CONNELLY. THERE. I SAID IT. After weeks of this masthead referring to "the Henderson place newcomer," "R. of Queensland," and, in one regrettable moment, "the Parcel Gentleman," this editor can confirm — from two independent and reliable sources, neither of whom is Lorraine Apps, though Lorraine's Wednesday counter slip did lay the groundwork — that our new resident is **Ray Connelly**, Queensland, cash buyer. R. Connelly. Ray. Connelly. A second parcel arrived at the store this week, different sender, which suggests to this editor a man with loose ends still flapping up north, or alternatively a man who orders a great deal online, which in this economy amounts to the same thing. Deb Forsythe, who read the name aloud at Tuesday's festival subcommittee — "R. Connelly, Henderson place," as natural as anything — confirms Ray has been brought into the bicentenary fold. "He's on the list," Deb said, and that is good enough for this paper. *The town now knows his name. What the town does next with it will be the real story.* --- ## STEVE-O: A MAN DECIDING SOMETHING Alan Reeves used the word **"serious"** to describe Steve-o. Alan told Barry Coakes. Barry's wife brought it to Zumba Wednesday, where it was received with the gravity it deserved. In Redgum Hollow, "serious" is not a personality descriptor. It is a weather forecast. The café visits are now a pattern. This editor has no information about a city job. This editor is simply noting that the pattern, plus the word, plus the expression reportedly seen on Steve-o's face at the counter on Tuesday, add up to a shape. The shape has corners. The corners point somewhere. Steve-o was unavailable for comment, which is itself a kind of comment. --- ## SHOE UPDATE: IT IS NOW A LANDMARK The child's shoe on the Henderson fence post has been there long enough that directions in this town now include it. "Past the shoe on Henderson's fence" was overheard twice this week from two people who have never spoken to each other. This editor did not predict this. This editor should have. A landmark, in this district, takes about forty years or one good mystery, whichever comes first. The shoe has done it in under a fortnight. Make of that what you will. --- ## TASH GOES DIRECT Bev Coogan, passing the community hall Wednesday, observed Tash's festival stall application going into the letterbox — not via the store, not via Lorraine. "Tash is going direct to the festival now," Bev has said, a sentence containing seven words and approximately four accusations. Meanwhile, Kevin Apps was at the co-op Thursday asking whether Tash's café did takeaway loaves. This is noted without further comment except to observe that Lorraine was not at the co-op at the time, and that word travels. --- ## LETTERS TO THE EDITOR **From Clarrie Burton, Tuesday morning, delivered by hand:** *Marge — I put my hat on the nail Tuesday, which some people will know and some won't. I'm not saying what it means, only that it still means it. Good morning to you. — C. Burton* *[ED'S NOTE: Clarrie has been in this district longer than the nail, and the nail has been there since 1987. We print this in full and without apology. — M.H.]* --- **From a resident who signs as "Not Bev":** *Just to say, the letterbox is there for a reason and applications submitted that way are completely legitimate and nobody said otherwise. — Not Bev* --- ## AROUND THE DISTRICT • Clarrie on the bench, hat on the nail, early Tuesday. Bruce asked who he was waiting for. Clarrie said "the day." Bruce has been slightly flat since. These are facts. This paper offers no interpretation at this time. • No rain. The co-op tank gauge is doing nobody's mood any favours. • Whoever is responsible for the shoe: you have, accidentally or otherwise, improved our navigational vocabulary. Thank you. • The Royal Hotel is open. Go and have a drink there. This week, that's the whole item. *— Marge Holloway, Editor, Proprietor, Typesetter, and Sole Witness*