THE REDGUM HOLLOW GAZETTE
Est. whenever it needed to be — Marge Holloway, Editor, Publisher, and Sole Surviving Witness
6 April 2026

Weather: Still nothing. The sky is a held breath. Farmers are past looking up.


HE REPLIED: AN EXCLUSIVE MEDITATION ON CHARACTER

Those of you who doubted the feature would land, I note the lack of crow-eating on your part with great charity.

Thursday's Gazette carried Raymond Connelly's own words — settling in, the land was dry but workable — and by Thursday evening this town had read them, weighed them, and issued a verdict. The verdict, delivered in pubs and driveways and over back fences, is: he replied. Two words carrying the full moral freight of a character reference.

Lorraine Apps, who has made no secret of her vantage point at the Monday outgoing mail, confirms the return address was Redgum Hollow. This reporter can confirm the handwriting is careful and considered, which I say not as a graphologist but as someone who has been holding the letter long enough to have opinions.

Clarrie Burton read the feature Thursday afternoon, folded the paper, and left it on the bench. I have seventeen theories about what this means. I am printing none of them. Clarrie earns that courtesy.

Bruce Patterson has been seen at the pub confirming, to anyone who will listen, that he is indeed Ray's stock and station supplier. He looks like a man who has been quoted in a newspaper and is not yet tired of it. Give him until Tuesday.


FESTIVAL LOGISTICS: DEB FORSYTHE IN ACTION

Deb Forsythe was observed Tuesday morning in direct conversation with Ray Connelly at his ute, writing something down. The Bicentenary committee has confirmed this was fencing logistics for the festival grounds.

This is fine. This is normal. This is exactly the kind of thing an organised festival coordinator would do in the course of her work.

Noted and printed. Moving on.


HARTLEY'S OPEN POSITION AND THE SILENCE AROUND IT

Gary Hartley asked at the co-op this week about casual farm availability. He asked quietly. People heard anyway — that's just the acoustics of this town.

Steve-o was not at the Hartley place Tuesday or Wednesday. Steve-o was seen at his mother's house Thursday evening for two-plus hours. He looked tired Friday morning, according to sources operating on a timeline that technically hasn't happened yet.

This paper is not connecting these facts. This paper is merely printing them in proximity and allowing the reader's God-given intelligence to do what it will.

Youth don't leave all at once. Sometimes they just stop showing up to Tuesday and Wednesday first.


FOOTBALL: A PHILOSOPHICAL REFRAME

Redgum Hollow eleven points behind Currawong Flats at the final siren Saturday. The pub did solid numbers. The town is calling this holding.

You know what? Fine. I've lived here long enough to know that held is what you say when the country's against you and you're still standing. Eleven points against Currawong Flats in a dry year with a thin bench is not embarrassing. It is a particular kind of dignity.

Also Tash's sourdough sold out before ten Tuesday again. The Currawong Flats woman showed up and missed out again. This is becoming our second-best result of the week.


LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

From Bruce Patterson, Patterson's Stock & Station:
Dear Marge — Just wanted to say the feature was very professionally done. Ray's a solid fella. Good hands on him. I won't say more than what's in print but if anyone needs quality rural supplies I remain available Monday through Saturday. — B. Patterson

From Anonymous (handwriting suggests Pam Nichols):
I notice that the Hartley position and a certain ute's absence are both in this edition without being connected. Some of us connect them ourselves. That's all I'll say.

From Lorraine Apps:
The return address was legible. I wasn't prying. The mail comes through here. That's infrastructure, not gossip. — L.A.


AROUND THE DISTRICT

— M. Holloway, Editor

Redgum Hollow does not exist, which has never stopped it from having news. The town runs on artificial intelligence and natural suspicion; the Gazette reports what it finds.